- It was a total breeze to send baby goat to a half day of daycare while we packed up. Saved time and baby goat was all set to go, fed and happy and ready for a nap after lunch. I must remember this trick later on!
- The drive went well. Baby goat continues to be awesome in the car. I hope he doesn't grow out of that.
- Baby goat was still fighting a cold, particularly the first night there but improved rapidly.
- So. much. food.
- We did Thanksgiving buffet out as our family dinner was scheduled for Friday. It was fun and baby goat was great in his high chair in the fancy restaurant!
- Packers win!
- Playdate with my HS friend Sharon, her hubby and her 3 month old Kenna was a great time.
- Our second night there baby goat began cutting a top tooth. Was up several times in the night. Mama goat's sleep deprivation began!
- Baby goat is cheerful despite teething night and had a great time meeting all sorts of mama's aunts, uncles and cousins he hadn't met before.
- Even.More.Food. plus cucumber dip!
- Games played this weekend: Bridge, Pinochle, Sheepshead, Catch Phrase
- Slams bid and made by Mr. Goat and I - one. Slams we should have bid and made - one.
- $.85 down in Sheeps.
- Friday night, baby goat moved beyond cutting one tooth to working on THREE on the top. Was up most of the night and finally fell asleep on mama goat. Mama goat got no sleep. Boo.
- We made it to breakfast with our baby goat's Godparents and their kids anyway.
- Baby goat not worse or wear. mama, not so much.
- Still, we made it back today. Mr. Goat has a sinus infection. Mama goat is tired. Baby goat is teething but despite it we are all happy.
- So so much to be thankful for this year.
- Still, I'd be thankful for a good night's sleep.
Saturday, November 28, 2009
Thanksgiving recap
What a whirlwind these holiday trips can be. We're back home now but we've spent the last 3 days in WI with my parents and the rest of the family. It was a wonderful trip but lots was going on, so indulge me in my bullet point recap:
Friday, November 27, 2009
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Happy Thanksgiving!
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Loose Ends
Today has been a day feeling at loose ends. I spent most of the day trying frantically to be able to go avoid going into work tomorrow. I was late to pick up baby goat from daycare because of it (and traffic). I'm worrying for a friend and for baby goat and his cold as it seems to have gotten worse (thankfully no fever, just snot and coughing).
I should be packing, or finishing a few work things that I should attend to, or cleaning, or even finding something meaningful to do. Instead I'm blogging (with very little substance) and listening at the monitor. I'm glad when it is quiet because it means he's sleeping, but I'm also sort of glad when he coughs or shifts because it means he's still breathing. A bit crazy I know, but it keeps me from stopping in to see him every five minutes.
The reality is that he's got a cold, probably nothing serious. Work stuff will work out and everyone understands it is a holiday weekend. I will be able to take time to talk to my friend(s) over the weekend. I will see family. Baby goat will meet new family. And hopefully all will work itself out.
So maybe I'm not packing or working or cleaning, but I am mentally tying off my loose ends before I unravel. And that's time well spent after today.
I should be packing, or finishing a few work things that I should attend to, or cleaning, or even finding something meaningful to do. Instead I'm blogging (with very little substance) and listening at the monitor. I'm glad when it is quiet because it means he's sleeping, but I'm also sort of glad when he coughs or shifts because it means he's still breathing. A bit crazy I know, but it keeps me from stopping in to see him every five minutes.
The reality is that he's got a cold, probably nothing serious. Work stuff will work out and everyone understands it is a holiday weekend. I will be able to take time to talk to my friend(s) over the weekend. I will see family. Baby goat will meet new family. And hopefully all will work itself out.
So maybe I'm not packing or working or cleaning, but I am mentally tying off my loose ends before I unravel. And that's time well spent after today.
Monday, November 23, 2009
Defining Breastfeeding
Thanks to my friend Marketing Mama, I've been thinking a lot about breastfeeding today. Her jumping off point was signage about nursing that used bottles. (See her post here). She expresses her point admirably and I'm not here to repeat the posts of others, but it did get me thinking about how we define breastfeeding in our society.
My question: Is breastfeeding defined by the location from which a baby drinks the food (ie breast or bottle) or by the type of food (breastmilk or formula)?
I think breastfeeding is typically associated with whipping out a boob and feeding a child whenever needed. And yet, the answer seems far more complicated than that. Many nursing mothers pump on a regular basis, particularly if they work, so that their child can eat without being fully dependent on the mother alone.
But I would argue that even though my son never figured out how to drink from the breast that he has been breastfed because he's had only breastmilk since he was born.
I've shared a little about the difficulties we've had breastfeeding here a little but not in depth. Since baby goat was born 7 weeks early he didn't have a suck reflex. For quite along time he was fed almost exclusively through a nose tube that pumped my breastmilk directly into stomach. I was pumping every 2-3 hours while recovering from the preeclampsia and the c-section and trying to care for him in the NICU too.
Eventually he started taking a bit by the bottle and we started breastfeeding attempts. We'd try when I was there to breastfeed and each time they would strip him down to his diaper, weigh him down to the gram, and place him on my chest for our attempts. We'd work at it for 15, 20, 30, 45 minutes getting increasingly hungry and frustrated. From time to time they would bring him back to the scale and see how many grams he'd gained. This was how many ml of breastmilk he'd drunk.
The majority of the time it was 8 ml or less. More times than I can even count, it was zero. 45 minutes of trying for zero food for my son. It wasn't for a lack of milk. The problem was his suck. He figured out something that worked for him when he had the bottle, but he didn't have the ability to draw it in, rather he chewed.
We tried Lactation consultants who were rude driving to tears about my inability to feed my child. I was told that if I just kept at it he would get the hang of it. We tried for a long time. The most he ever got was 20 ml, which was approx. a third of his feedings at that stage. And even that seemed to be a fluke as it was never duplicated.
As we went on, he started having his heart rate drop due to reflux during eating, particularly when he was in a horizontal position. This made breastfeeding even more complicated and frustrating for him and me (not to mention scary). We saw a physical therapist who tried some techniques to get him to draw milk in more fully. While we tried these techniques it didn't seem to help in the long run.
As all of these attempts were going on, baby goat was getting bottles whenever I wasn't there. Our insurance would only let us stay for up to 4 days round the clock once I was discharged, and we saved that for the end when he was about to come home. After 4 weeks I was out of vacation and he was still in the NICU so I was forced to go back to work which prevented me from getting to even more feedings.
It got to the point that breastfeeding attempts led to crying for him and for me. Him from hunger and me from my inablity to feed my child. But, I was feeding him. I kept pumping every 3 hours and I was renowned in the NICU for my milk supply. I think I was the only one who had a child who'd never needed to be supplemented with formula, ever, even after all that my body went through it still produced the milk to care for baby goat.
After he came home we tried for a while, but he'd figured out how to eat with a bottle and the damage (as it were) was done and he has been a bottlefed breastfed baby ever since.
But I still consider that baby goat is breastfed. I ache at the knowledge that I've missed out on a beautiful bonding experience. I am so sick of the breast pump too but I keep going. My goal is to make it a year.
But is baby goat breastfed? I hope so. I have felt guilty about not breastfeeding before, but I'm going to say that I do breastfeed baby goat, in a manner of speaking.
*Disclaimer: No offense was meant to anyone on any side of the breastfeeding spectrum. I'm just thinking through some of my own thoughts from my experience.*
My question: Is breastfeeding defined by the location from which a baby drinks the food (ie breast or bottle) or by the type of food (breastmilk or formula)?
I think breastfeeding is typically associated with whipping out a boob and feeding a child whenever needed. And yet, the answer seems far more complicated than that. Many nursing mothers pump on a regular basis, particularly if they work, so that their child can eat without being fully dependent on the mother alone.
But I would argue that even though my son never figured out how to drink from the breast that he has been breastfed because he's had only breastmilk since he was born.
I've shared a little about the difficulties we've had breastfeeding here a little but not in depth. Since baby goat was born 7 weeks early he didn't have a suck reflex. For quite along time he was fed almost exclusively through a nose tube that pumped my breastmilk directly into stomach. I was pumping every 2-3 hours while recovering from the preeclampsia and the c-section and trying to care for him in the NICU too.
Eventually he started taking a bit by the bottle and we started breastfeeding attempts. We'd try when I was there to breastfeed and each time they would strip him down to his diaper, weigh him down to the gram, and place him on my chest for our attempts. We'd work at it for 15, 20, 30, 45 minutes getting increasingly hungry and frustrated. From time to time they would bring him back to the scale and see how many grams he'd gained. This was how many ml of breastmilk he'd drunk.
The majority of the time it was 8 ml or less. More times than I can even count, it was zero. 45 minutes of trying for zero food for my son. It wasn't for a lack of milk. The problem was his suck. He figured out something that worked for him when he had the bottle, but he didn't have the ability to draw it in, rather he chewed.
We tried Lactation consultants who were rude driving to tears about my inability to feed my child. I was told that if I just kept at it he would get the hang of it. We tried for a long time. The most he ever got was 20 ml, which was approx. a third of his feedings at that stage. And even that seemed to be a fluke as it was never duplicated.
As we went on, he started having his heart rate drop due to reflux during eating, particularly when he was in a horizontal position. This made breastfeeding even more complicated and frustrating for him and me (not to mention scary). We saw a physical therapist who tried some techniques to get him to draw milk in more fully. While we tried these techniques it didn't seem to help in the long run.
As all of these attempts were going on, baby goat was getting bottles whenever I wasn't there. Our insurance would only let us stay for up to 4 days round the clock once I was discharged, and we saved that for the end when he was about to come home. After 4 weeks I was out of vacation and he was still in the NICU so I was forced to go back to work which prevented me from getting to even more feedings.
It got to the point that breastfeeding attempts led to crying for him and for me. Him from hunger and me from my inablity to feed my child. But, I was feeding him. I kept pumping every 3 hours and I was renowned in the NICU for my milk supply. I think I was the only one who had a child who'd never needed to be supplemented with formula, ever, even after all that my body went through it still produced the milk to care for baby goat.
After he came home we tried for a while, but he'd figured out how to eat with a bottle and the damage (as it were) was done and he has been a bottlefed breastfed baby ever since.
But I still consider that baby goat is breastfed. I ache at the knowledge that I've missed out on a beautiful bonding experience. I am so sick of the breast pump too but I keep going. My goal is to make it a year.
But is baby goat breastfed? I hope so. I have felt guilty about not breastfeeding before, but I'm going to say that I do breastfeed baby goat, in a manner of speaking.
*Disclaimer: No offense was meant to anyone on any side of the breastfeeding spectrum. I'm just thinking through some of my own thoughts from my experience.*
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Random Thoughts
It has been a while since I've done some proper random thoughts so I thought I'd give you some true Lutheran Geek Random Thoughts.
* Yes, I saw New Moon on Friday. I saw it with a mom and her teen. The teen had gone with her dad at midnight the day before and still went to school Friday. Yes I thouroughly enjoyed myself. Truth be told, the second movie was VASTLY better than the first one. That and I think there is something utterly hilarious about sitting in a packed theater with girls (and fully grown women) gasping, hooting and cheering. It was sort of the same thing as going to see the star trek movie and all the men started cheering. I guess I'm just a geek in either gender stereotype.
* That being said, it still feels a bit wrong commenting so apreciatively about a 17 yr olds abs. At least Edward is played by a 23 yr old! That didn't feel quite so naughty!
* Ok, so I'm addicted to baby toys. I think I enjoy playing with them as much as baby goat. And of course it is just for baby goat's benefit. It has nothing to do UM, with the bright colors and cool noises and all of the cool sorting games you can do with them. Yes, NOTHING to do with that. Yeah.
* One of baby goat's Christmas presents arrived in the mail this week. I want to open it so badly to um, give it to the baby goat (read: play with it myself, to show baby goat how it works). It always seems harder for me to wait to give gifts rather than to wait to open gifts myself.
* TWO DAY WORK WEEK!!!!
* At one of my church programs we've had a few occasions to do some general arts and crafts and the kids have me draw and paint whatever they tell me. They keep saying that I should be an artist and it is all I can do not to laugh. I am a decent doodler but no artist, still it makes me think that we should look at things through a kids eyes more often and see beauty in things that an adult my see as flawed.
* Baby goat seems to be working his way through his cold. He didn't have a fever today and just has a small cough/sniffle so I'm hoping we are on the mend. I want him to be his excited self when we see all the family this week.
* Even though his illness seemed minor I still wonder whether or not I should have called the doctor. He had 100.4 fever at one point but napped well, ate well and only seemed a little under the weather so I didn't bother. Now I wonder if I'm not being cautious enough with all the baby baby germs out there or if I'm just in tune to my baby and my mommy instincts. Who knows? But at least he seems to be getting better.
* Why does it seem like kids get sick on the weekend?
* I hadn't watched the last few seasons of Survivor, but I'm so glad I've caught this season. It is really something new and completely cool. For the first time I'm cheering for the total game player Russell just to see what happens next. He is masterful and it is really fun to watch.
* Last week Thanksgiving seemed a long ways away. This week it seems really close. While there is a lot to do before we can go to my parent's house I'm really excited about it. Baby goat is going to get to meet his great aunts and uncles and I'm excited for him to meet this side of the family. Plus there is the promise of yummy food, cards, and a playdate with one of baby goat's many potential girlfriends. What could be better!
* I think this year I'm just extra excited for the holidays. It seems like there is so much worth celebrating right now and baby goat just brings a whole new dimension to the whole thing. I am just very very thankful that this year has turned out so well. There is still lots on my mind that worries me but I am very grateful for all the blessings I do have!
* The weekend after Thanksgiving is Christmas Fest weekend and Mr. Goat and I get to go on TWO dates that weekend - to St. Olaf's Christmas Fest and Gustavus' Christmas in Christ Chapel. Can't wait!
* Now I have a date with a bowl of mint chocolate chip ice cream, a breast pump and the end of the Bears game. Happy Weekend Blogland. Keep an eye out for my NaBloPoMo giveaway coming soon!
* Yes, I saw New Moon on Friday. I saw it with a mom and her teen. The teen had gone with her dad at midnight the day before and still went to school Friday. Yes I thouroughly enjoyed myself. Truth be told, the second movie was VASTLY better than the first one. That and I think there is something utterly hilarious about sitting in a packed theater with girls (and fully grown women) gasping, hooting and cheering. It was sort of the same thing as going to see the star trek movie and all the men started cheering. I guess I'm just a geek in either gender stereotype.
* That being said, it still feels a bit wrong commenting so apreciatively about a 17 yr olds abs. At least Edward is played by a 23 yr old! That didn't feel quite so naughty!
* Ok, so I'm addicted to baby toys. I think I enjoy playing with them as much as baby goat. And of course it is just for baby goat's benefit. It has nothing to do UM, with the bright colors and cool noises and all of the cool sorting games you can do with them. Yes, NOTHING to do with that. Yeah.
* One of baby goat's Christmas presents arrived in the mail this week. I want to open it so badly to um, give it to the baby goat (read: play with it myself, to show baby goat how it works). It always seems harder for me to wait to give gifts rather than to wait to open gifts myself.
* TWO DAY WORK WEEK!!!!
* At one of my church programs we've had a few occasions to do some general arts and crafts and the kids have me draw and paint whatever they tell me. They keep saying that I should be an artist and it is all I can do not to laugh. I am a decent doodler but no artist, still it makes me think that we should look at things through a kids eyes more often and see beauty in things that an adult my see as flawed.
* Baby goat seems to be working his way through his cold. He didn't have a fever today and just has a small cough/sniffle so I'm hoping we are on the mend. I want him to be his excited self when we see all the family this week.
* Even though his illness seemed minor I still wonder whether or not I should have called the doctor. He had 100.4 fever at one point but napped well, ate well and only seemed a little under the weather so I didn't bother. Now I wonder if I'm not being cautious enough with all the baby baby germs out there or if I'm just in tune to my baby and my mommy instincts. Who knows? But at least he seems to be getting better.
* Why does it seem like kids get sick on the weekend?
* I hadn't watched the last few seasons of Survivor, but I'm so glad I've caught this season. It is really something new and completely cool. For the first time I'm cheering for the total game player Russell just to see what happens next. He is masterful and it is really fun to watch.
* Last week Thanksgiving seemed a long ways away. This week it seems really close. While there is a lot to do before we can go to my parent's house I'm really excited about it. Baby goat is going to get to meet his great aunts and uncles and I'm excited for him to meet this side of the family. Plus there is the promise of yummy food, cards, and a playdate with one of baby goat's many potential girlfriends. What could be better!
* I think this year I'm just extra excited for the holidays. It seems like there is so much worth celebrating right now and baby goat just brings a whole new dimension to the whole thing. I am just very very thankful that this year has turned out so well. There is still lots on my mind that worries me but I am very grateful for all the blessings I do have!
* The weekend after Thanksgiving is Christmas Fest weekend and Mr. Goat and I get to go on TWO dates that weekend - to St. Olaf's Christmas Fest and Gustavus' Christmas in Christ Chapel. Can't wait!
* Now I have a date with a bowl of mint chocolate chip ice cream, a breast pump and the end of the Bears game. Happy Weekend Blogland. Keep an eye out for my NaBloPoMo giveaway coming soon!
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